The Tragedy Of Juliet and Romeo

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The Tragedy Of Juliet and Romeo Montagues and Capulets have fought all their lives. Romeo falls in love with Juliet, the moment he sees her. But what if she never liked him back? Have a small recap on Romeo & Juliet here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zxrjfrd/revision/1#:~:text=It%20is%20a%20tragic%20love,being%20separated%20from%20one%20another. “No Romeo, I never thought about you that way," Juliet said, sitting in the brim of the window in her room. Romeo had climbed all the way up to her window. He looked disappointed but didn’t lose the spirit. “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night”, he expressed. Juliet frowned. “Well, you’re just 16. Trust me, there are more beautiful people than me. Also, stick to normal language. It’s hard to catch up”, she said. “You remember you kissed me? How would you explain that?”, Romeo questioned her back. She swallowed in confusion. “Romeo, I’m barely 13. What do you expect me to ...
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Depression Diaries #4: The Term 'People Pleasing'

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Ever heard of people-pleasing syndrome? No, I haven’t heard about it too. If at all there is something like that, it’ll be like what am about to explain. First, lemme tell you what people-pleasing is. Altering your opinion or approach about something, so that the person (you want to please) is happy seeing your action. In this process, people tend to opt out of the happiness of pleasing others.

Now, this is something we all do. We have different personalities with every people we meet. We have different voices for everyone we have in our life, according to our priority list. We please people to get our job done, or for them to keep giving us jobs, or to simply maintain a good profile with them. But we do have a part of us, who’d do what he/she likes, no matter who’s against it. That’s basically us, treating the personality we love. We do not compromise that personality’s wishes for nobody. I’ve seen nobody compromise with their wishes for the people they love. Or have I?

Welcome to Depression Diaries #4, this is Deepan, and I’m going to talk about myself, to every dear reader reading this. Please note that this was written by me under a really weak mental state, so don’t mind any misses of flow or coarse language.


I have a personality in front of the real me. A personality everybody celebrates and remembers me for. He is a really emotional, happy-go person who is humourous with everyone, and syncs in with everyone’s wavelength. He knows to read people’s faces and know what they want, and the next moment, his target is to bring it in front of them. The people opposite to him are taken by surprise, then happiness, and then gratitude. All three are what that personality took as salary for what he did. He’ll not hurt anybody, even though that’ll take a great toll on him.

I didn’t know exactly when I lost him, but I lost the original, unique Deepan I had in me, behind the personality I spoke about. I lost my desires, ambitions, and wishes I had. Now, If I make someone happy, then that’s when am really happy. That’s where my happiness lies. Not in the songs or movies I liked before. Not in doing things I love. Not anything more than others’ happiness.

What possibly went wrong?

I don’t know, I wanted to live my life the way I wanted, a few months back. it was this “One Life” kinda shit. I enjoyed my life at that time, it was really great, I enjoyed that period of my life thoroughly. I cared less about others and took life my way. But people around me didn’t like me that way. They were offended, I was restricted, and everybody blamed my new college life and extended time with friends. So, I had to stop that One Life person and started doing stuff people liked me to do. I totally forgot I have a life and started living for others.

So, do I regret it?

People around me are happy, but I do have this unsettling regret for not being able to do what I like or to do what I think. I regret it when I realize I am not having any desires for myself. Or, letting my happiness lie in others’ happiness.

Who are ‘they’?

Not only the girl I liked but my family, my friends, and the people I like. All the people I like to keep in my life. All of them I would like to treasure for life. People who stand with me while am down, who check on me if am okay, therapize me and give hand outta the hellhole.

I want to be this good person whom everyone likes. I want to be this person who could make everybody happy. The person who doesn’t hurt anyone. I can’t stand anyone crying. Especially if they are crying because of me, the next thing that strikes my mind is, ‘they’re crying because of me, so, if I go, they’ll stop’. But something happened recently, I had a soul who cried that am leaving their life. I should’ve been happy that I mattered to them that much, but that ended up perplexing me. I chose not to leave, even though it was painful.

I’m falling for someone who takes care of me so badly, and am stopping myself so that they don’t leave my life too. I lost a friend while I tried to do what my heart said. I’m trying so hard to win him back. Another friend just realized that she had totally forgotten me for some time. Amidst all this drama, I just want to do justice to everyone, at the cost of anything. At the cost of my peace too.

I don’t even know why am saying all this, and dear reader, if you’ve read up to this point, lemme just tell you one thing. I’ll pour all my love over a person if they’re really important to me. The way they treat me doesn’t matter until my love for them gets affected due to it. That’s me, that’s how am now. I know I’ve lost the old Deepan, and I’ll keep trying to find him. I’ll find him one day and would make him happy too.

People say I can’t go along with this personality. I take your words, people, I’ll take all the time in the world to think this out and arrive at a decision. Until then, I’ll do what my heart says. Like I wrote this blog outta nowhere.

 

 I've just vented out my angst and depression out here. I'm sorry, but I really needed this. Not that every problem would vanish, but still. 

Thank You! ❤️

 

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